Re-collection
04 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in Daily Doses, Snapshots Tags: Andy Warhol, collection, DIY, hamster, Pokemon, time, Tioman, wallet
Recently I cleared up my things, I’m such a packrat, I’ve been keeping things since for as long as I remember. I find it such a waste to throw things since you never know when you might be needing things, and I keep a lot of things because of sentimental value. For instance, this black overalls I wore on my trip from China to Singapore 15 years ago…
Happy pills :D
My fat hamster’s new way to sleep. And in the mean time, wipe their pee and poop off the wheel with her fur.
The wheel is super dirty! I have to wash it daily!!!
She is seriously fat and round.
Anyway, her daddy, Kero darling passed away on 27th April. I will miss him deeply, he is such a sweet hamster… Hope she lives to a ripe old age cos I love her and her mummy so much!
She is the most silly darling ever, while her mummy Suppie is so playful and energetic, while Daddy is peaceful and sweet. Even hamsters have different personalities. And the 3 of them don’t bite or squeak :)
My collection of knit. Threatening to burst my wardrobe any moment.
P.S. There is another layer behind and much more that don’t fit onto this shelf.
Collection of seashells from Tioman :D
Speaking of which, my most looked forward to Tioman holiday is preventing me from finding a job. It’s like the main reason why I keep getting rejected…
Pokemon cards :D
I used to eat Twisties everyday so that I finally collected a full set of this. I remember I could memorise the pokemon by their numerical order O: Completely mad and silly I know.
I don’t even want to think of the amount of Twisties I ate.
Bracelet I made last time :D
I can’t believe I did so many beading. I did a lot of DIY and handicrafts in the past. But I can’t seem to find time now…
My beautiful white wallet which I can’t bear to use in case it becomes dirty.
Hourglass necklace.
As beautiful it is, it is a reflection of me, the sand runs really quickly through due to the large hole and it reminds me of how rushed I am these days, impatient and annoying. How I won’t even stop for a moment to wait, life like this…
Inspired to paint the underneath of my drawers like Andy Warhol :D
Hamster mountain in hamster land. I was too lazy to break the giant mountain of sawdust for Boy Boy ham…
This pretty much sums up what I’ve been doing recently… very boring I know.
Still jobless.
I was quite crazy and went for 5 job interviews today, running all over the place (okay technically only around central areas) but I still have no job! Am I so unemployable? Is my 4 day holiday really so disadvantageous?
Now I seriously pray dream wish I booked it next week instead of late May.
100th for Titanic
03 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in Daily Doses, Snapshots Tags: Andy Warhol, Art Science Museum, friends, Marina Bay Sands, outing, Titanic
Last Sunday I went for the Titanic Artifact and Andy Warhol: 15 Minutes Interval Exhibtions at Art Science Museum with Zi Yan, perhaps as a way to celebrate the end of our examinations.
The above sentence does sound quite formal, but it has relayed all necessary information!
Managed to snuck in a few photos…
First class table!
Grand staircase.
The tragedy causing iceberg.
They placed little boats with LED lights on the pond outside and it was really lovely and peaceful at night.
A Thin Line
02 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in Daily Doses Tags: dinner, mum, Two
Today I wondered what’s the difference between being stubborn and being perseverant.
First, let’s see how the online dictionary defines it.
Per`se`ver´ant
a. 1. Persevering.
So very helpful.
But back to the point, both stick to their beliefs and do what they really want to do despite all the obstacles and anything going against them. But one is rather negative while the other seems like a pretty desirable trait, like you don’t give up easily.
I am a stubborn person. I don’t think I deserve to be called persevering. When I had the night cycling I couldn’t last till the end. I give up rather easily on some things, and never give up on other, in the battle to be stubborn.
At times I wonder why I am stubborn. Why are people stubborn? Say we made a mistake and we don’t want to admit it, because doing so will cause us to lose our pride and dignity, then we go on and be the stubborn mule. Because we won’t be wrong this way, we will be right in our own mind. Someone we want something so badly, we become stubborn till we finally get what we want. In the end we realise it wasn’t that great after all.
I think I’ll have to end the entry abruptly here.
Yes, I am in a bad mood, I stormed out of my house, came back and locked myself in my room. My mum demanded me to eat dinner (as usual) and I kept saying later, till she got into a bad mood too. Bad mood does spread.
Did I mention my mum is incredibly stubborn?
SHE NEVER ADMITS HER MISTAKE. SHE INSISTS I EAT DINNER. SHE INSISTS I EAT SOMETHING I DON’T WANT.
Oh yes, now she is yelling at me. When my grandmother cooked dinner and asked her out to eat she kept saying “later” and why can’t I do the same.
Now even my dad is unhappy. My mum threatens never to cook again.
And you know the source of this whole unhappiness?
Yes.
In Faded Colours
25 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Daily Doses, Random, Snapshots Tags: architecture, camera, crit, hamster, McDonalds, nail polish, nails, phone, shophouse, socks, UrbaNature
Random freebie socks.
Happy Macs.
I was quite crazy that day, I was craving for hotcakes breakfast before heading out to study with Shi Ting at KAP, but I figured out when any of us reached there, breakfast will be over (true enough, Shiting turned up at 1 plus or something). So I took away macs at the house near my house and headed over to KAP, waited for a good 2 hours for Shi Ting to reach. Pfffff.
Skylight.
Shophouse in front of House 17 Lorang 24A Geylang.
Random nail polishes.
I inherited a heap load from my mum. No, not much of the above belonged to my mum.
Canon IXUS.
Condemned to this after my DSLR died. It’s a pure irritating little thing, I really wonder how I survived doing my portfolio with this. It’s really tiny though, palm perfect. It has an idiot brain, focusing on random things.
Interior of House 17. No, I didn’t invite anyone to the exhibition, I didn’t really display anything. No one from my family or any of my friends turned up. The exhibition was called UrbaNature. Our nature retreat and shophouse in urban context. From 12-19 April 2012 if my brain doesn’t fail me.
What you get after crit. Or during crit.
Notice the phone chargers. And I wasn’t asleep. I was looking at everyone around me in horror.
The pile of furballs. There’s 4 in the picture if you can spot them.
I sound sarcastic. Or indifferent. Cynical. Oh well, that’s how I’m feeling now.
But I aim to improve my English, I shall write in proper English. I also hope to clear some backlog. I don’t know if I should bother to continue blogging about China, since it’s nearly a year ago. I haven’t finished uploading all the photos yet. I shall print some out for memories :)
I have more photos, but my cranky little phone doesn’t seem to want to load them.
Edit: By hook or by crook I managed to find some way to get these up.
Sunset at the exhibition.
I don’t know why this sunset spoke out to me, like some sort of closure. I felt really at peace watching it.
Gorgeous red roof tiles.
I finished all of my architecture exams today. I’m left with the Genes and Society exam on Friday, and I hope I’ll do well for that at least. I don’t want to throw all my J2 Bio back at Mrs Sim.
I’m telling you
16 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Alien Language, Poem, Random, Rants Tags: job, life
For once, just let me be a critic.
Harsh and unforgiving,
tell you what you should do.
I think you ought to find some employment,
some other kind of employment,
it will do you some good.
Instead of wasting your time like that,
hiding yourslf away,
oblivious to everything.
A good job will do you some good.
Show you the world,
prepare you for the future.
Don’t come back to me with the same excuses.
I know, I know, I know it’s boring, tough, poor paying…
but it’s better than wasting your time away.
Because you have not experienced it before,
and yet you deem yourself to have already done much more.
You refuse to believe others have had it much worse.
Sometimes you really irritate me.
I tell myself to pretend like nothing’s happened,
but you think it’s fun and you do it again.
My patience is wearing out,
yet I know,
I’m dependent on you.
I pray you listen to me for once,
stop being so obstinate.
Stop living in your own world.
I can’t believe I’m coming to this,
but I have to say
“It’s all for your own good.”
Woey
14 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Random, Thoughts Tags: camera, phone, shopping
Sorry folks if I have been neglecting this space quite badly, I not exactly busy, more like I’m slacking more than ever. And oh yes, having headache every night. Why?
Other than that I can only say I’ve been splurging like one crazy woman. Full of woes = spend like money is free. Sure sure, retail therapy is cheaper than seeing a psychologist. But it does not good to make me worry about my holey wallet later :( I can only tell myself to calm down next week and everything will be better.
I’m looking at a new camera now (oh no my wallet!) to replace my DSLR. I’ve been surviving on my no-longer-trusty iphone and my mum’s Canon IXUS 220, the little point and shoot thing. Makes me kind of irritated with the irritating autofocus. It NEVER focuses on anything I want. The most irritating part is that the autofocus shifts as you shift the camera?!? But getting a good camera means a lot of money :( And my phone, it’s dying faster than my poor hamster. It’s permanently charging. I don’t think it does any good for the battery but the battery requires constant life support to function. And random apps (like the phone app) doesn’t work at random times ugh. I can’t play a lot of games too since many apps just crash. And having an app on for around 10 minutes makes it crash anyway.
Alright I have other woes, like my dear little holiday retreat with friends. Not everyone is enthusiastic about it, we’ll see. I really hope it all works out in the end. Something I really want to take my out of this sink.
Ugly and Unwanted
04 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Rants, Thoughts Tags: architecture, CAP, friends, life, work
Alright, I really shouldn’t be here because crit is tomorrow 2pm and I have not completed my model (left the stairs and some columns), haven’t done the 3D drawing/perspective and not even finished my PSE. But I hate drawing so much now I don’t want to draw again. And it is not fun drawing when your right hand hurts. I still haven’t gone to see a doctor about it, I hope the pain will disappear soon?
That aside, I thought of who I am today. I am no more than a loner today. I don’t know why, perhaps some events shaped how I am today, and there are specific events I can think about but somehow I have decided my company isn’t worth having. Yes yes, I have awesomely nice studio mates, but but but I feel guilt. 2 reasons. The first is I feel guilty to them, the second guilty to my other friends. We move on, but to have someone whom I’m about to know tell me that actually she doesn’t care about the people/friends she knew in the past and finds no point keeping in contact with them makes me feel -_- So you’re telling me when our need for contact is over you are gonna forget about me? Then there is no point to get started.
Okay I went out of point. You know how people ask you to say, attend some orientation or outing, and when you are there, no one actually appreciates your prescence? Everyone ignores you, staying in their own sweet group. If you are lucky, there will be one or two nice people who actually notice and try to get you join in. But most people can’t be bothered. They don’t need your company, they just want to be nice and try to not make you feel left out. I can admit I am like that too! I tend to stick to people I know. I’m open to meeting new people, should they talk to me and I don’t have any intimate matters I don’t mind them joining, but it’s just not me to go and ask others to join.
And maybe I am such a workaholic and restaholic now. Social can come later. I need to finish my work and sleep properly. Is that selfish? I can’t even get my basic needs right, why am I going to bother about others, especially people whom I don’t care about and they don’t care about me too. Alright, “don’t care” seems quite strong and even negative, but you get what I mean, that spending time slacking and partying isn’t worth as much as my work/grades/other friends/family/sleep/food. I am not as selfless. And I can live without the unnecessaries.
But why am I having this mentality? These ugly thoughts. I hate myself now. I find myself so selfish. I tried to be “nice”, I used to ask people to eat dinner together, until I realised in order to be nice and not refuse me, they 1) have to reject other people, 2) have to eat dinner at a weird time out of their schedule, 3) have to eat something they don’t like, 4) don’t enjoy eating dinner with me at all. So let’s not inconvenience anyone and just mind your own business and eat yourself. No one to enjoy the food with me is fine, at least I can stick to my schedule. Do my work. My work is of the upmost importance. Sleep, eat, friends are all secondary.
And I hate this life I’m having now. I cannot imagine doing this for the next few years. I am beginning to detest myself, I try to occupy myself with superficial, stupid, brainless activities so that I can save more time. But my life is going to decay. I’m just a horrible disgusting monster. And since I don’t even have enough time for my family and friends (other than my work), let’s not bother about anything else. In the past I try to agree to all sorts of invitations/events, but now I don’t have time to save my soul. So let me reject everything, no time to strike any balance.
Seriously, why I am so bothered by my CAP/grades now? What do I want? A lifeless life?
Sunset Sky
02 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Random, Snapshots, Thoughts Tags: aging, hamster, pet
Here you meet my daddy hamster, Kero. And he is aging quickly. He eats lesser and lesser, becomes skinnier and skinner. He walks about less often, his legs are giving way and he wobbles as he walks. His little heart feels that it’s all getting too much for it to handle, and will beat slower and slower until it stops. And we will witness the end of a hammie’s life… Just like that, within a year or two.
Kero is a sweet boy, he had many kids. He had a fierce wife who used to screech and bite him. I placed his babies with him and they looked all over him for milk and nipples but he was so gentle about it. He didn’t bite me or mean any harm. He used to be lazy and fat but always gentle. Last time I placed him together with his son, eventually his son grew up and they started fighting…he suffered more injuries and I had to separate them.
One day I’ll have to bade him farewell, and it won’t be long now.
Promises don’t come easy
31 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Random Tags: architecture, life
I hate delivering less than I promise. I hate promising to deliver. It’s either I don’t give much expectation and exceed expectations, or don’t bother.
I don’t want to give promises, I don’t want to break them. I don’t know how, but I’m just failing in that aspect now. And I haven’t got the time to think about it properly because I have got final crit in 5 days…
I really really hope when all these are over, I can actually blog about happier things again. Less emo stuff you know. Even if they are gonna be bimbotic or pure brainless.
The Million Dollar Question
31 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Daily Doses, Random Tags: life, school, shopping, Titanic
I know it’s late, but it’s not really considered so these days. Back in my primary school days I would never dream of staying up till this time except for chinese new year. Hmm and gaming overnight oops :/
Anyway, I am now presented with the freedom of choice. Most likely. But the chance to make decisions is a dangerous and powerful one. I must have demonstrated a million times I’m really lousy at making decisions. Especially when I have a million deadlines within next few days.
Looking on the bright side, Titanic 3D is coming out! Wait, 3D is expensive. Not to forget I splurged loads of money on materials and other vanity-wise items today, or these few days. I’m going to get killed if I continue to spend like that and deplete my savings :(
